Why do we do it?? As a little kid, you are soo tempted to pick, pick,
pick at that scab on your arm or leg. You learn, eventually, that it'll just make it bleed and the scab will reform; yet,
for most of us, that urge to pick and peel it away remains, often overwhelmingly powerful. So you pick, you bleed, you put
cream and a bandage on . . . repeat cycle, till you finally just stop, or till the wound heals.
As adults, we do the same exact things with relationships. Maybe we just
do it in our own heads - sparing the recent ex, or sibling, or parent- the same torment we inflict upon ourselves. But often,
too often in my opinion, the temptation to "share" the pain with that other person overrides any sensible urge you have to
be decent and mature, or to just get the hell on with your life. The ex who won't stop texting. The parent who has to get
in a barb, maybe not even a huge zinger but something that could go unsaid. The friend who has to rub something in that is
bound to hurt.
What do we get out of it, ultimately? A fleeting moment of purported
satisfaction, followed by . . . a sense of regret and a worse mental or emotional scar? Is it possible to stop ourselves -
literally and figuratively - from inflicting, on self and others, those post-mortem picks? To take the proverbial high road
can be a challenge, especially if all parties don't give that a shot.
So for any scabs, so to speak, out there, that are in my life right now,
I say this: I'm not gonna pick.
Just a few thoughts from a frustrated girl on a frustrating day. I'm
gonna try to let my scabs heal as they will, and let others' do the same. Surely, I can do that.
