|
Saturday, September 6, 2008
I Already Worked Out Today
For the record, it is 7:17 am. I can't remember the last time I exercised
before the sun came up, or for that matter, the last time I went running. My exercise routine in recent months has consisted
of a smattering of walks and the occasional weight training. But yesterday I looked in the mirror and finally acknowledged
the truth: I can look and have looked better.
Did I go that far or that long? No. Did I enjoy it? Hell no - it was
pure misery. Will I do it again? Yep. And based on previous experience, I am confident that it will get easier, and I will
get better and faster . . . and enjoy it again like I used to. That's what I'm gonna keep telling myself, anyway.
And in toto, it feels really, really good to be able to say
that I already worked out today!
Friday, September 5, 2008
A Very Special Note of Thanks
Today, tonight, I have one thing to say: "Thank you, Karla."
My dear friend Karla was a godsend today. Lunch, talking, a visit to
a store of pretties . . . all peppered with the particular combination of frank-talk-and-tough-love that only your
best friends can provide. I knew I was friends with her for a reason, but today, I really was reminded of it.
There are so many things in my life - so many "balls in the air" - right
now, and it helps most to spend time with those who both know me best and can help me focus on what I need to do. What I really
need to do. Job, money, my, um, life . . . these are the most important things. I know it, but it doesn't hurt to be reminded.
Thank you, Tia Karla. I love you.
At Least It Wasn't On A PostIt
So I have recently been faced with a bad ending to what I thought was
a good relationship. Watching an episode of "Sex And The City" tonight, the one where Carrie gets dumped via PostIt . . .
reminded me that there's always a silver lining. Or, at least, it reminded me that I'm the kind of person who looks for
it!
So what did I do with myself today? So much!! Worked out. Sent out three
resumes-with-writing-samples to places that maybe/I hope/oh-please! want to hire me. Made a delicious dinner (linguine with
chicken and asparagus in a sage butter sauce). Made plans for the next week with people I look forward to seeing.
It was a good day. Tomorrow will be, too, I've decided.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Bully Pulpit
One thing I have very consciously tried to avoid with my website and having
its audience is to use it as some kind of relationship "bully pulpit." Class, discretion, a sense of humor and an awareness
of how I'd feel if someone I were to date had his own site where he could share things about us . . . these are
the things I've kept in mind when I write about my private life.
I am having a super-hard time holding to that practice right now.
I've been seeing someone for several months, four or five now; it hasn't
been serious but it has been exclusive. I've gotten to know him and I like him, not love him, at this point. I've let him
into my life and really had a great and fun time! He's met my parents, which was the first time in quite awhile for that to
happen. I'm not in a hurry to meet his mother - we even talked about that and had a laugh - and I thought everything
was going well.
We both have a lot going on in our lives and there's been no hurry or
pressure to have big talks on my end. I have, though, been clear about things like preferring phone calls to texts and when
I've needed to hear from him more. It had seemed like all of that was copacetic until the past couple of weeks. He's been
less rather than more available and I have frequently wondered when I'd next hear from him. He even used the word "flaky"
to describe some of his behavior, but proffered it as an apology and I thought things were ok.
Apparently, I was wrong and he's just not that into me after all. When
he didn't check on my move last week, when I had to ask several times if he was going to be able to attend a special event
this coming weekend, and given we've had a couple versions of this issue come up, I decided to calmly say what I need: I like
and want to date him, but don't like wondering when I'll hear from him or feeling like I am more available to him than the
reverse, and to please call me when he is ready to call. That was five days ago.
You can probably guess what I'll say next: he hasn't called.
And I'm mad, and hurt. By your thirties, you - we, all of us - should
be mature enough to communicate. To be respectful and to have enough common courtesy to respond, in some fashion. I think
he's a good, decent man so I don't get the flakiness. It would be one thing after a few dates, but months?
I can only assume it is over and it was partly because I had the audacity
to point out the obvious and ask for what I needed. But it's mostly because he's just not that into me. I can only assume
this is the explanation, because he hasn't told me.
And that's the really sucky part. I'm a big girl and I can handle the
truth, but it's so much better to actually get the truth than have to guess at it.
I hope I wasn't a bully sharing this, but at this moment I am glad to
have a pulpit.
Monday, September 1, 2008
New Month, New Digs, New . . . Phase
I'm back. Told you I'd let you know. And I've got a new place to be "back"
in, a new month starting today, and a lot of stuff to do.
I've never been a settler, and there are a few parts of my life that
need some . . . un- (or re-) settling, if you will. I'm still putting the pieces together, but I've gathered my strength to
figure out how to deal with them. It's time.
Stay tuned . . . the adventures in Carrie Neal Land continue, as always!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
MIA
That's me. Missing In Action. I'm over - a lot of stuff and I'm taking
a time out. The phone's off, the movies are playing on DVD and there's a lot of sleep happening. For some reason, even though
I don't have official internet service at the new place, I got a connection when I logged on just to get to my iTunes. The
only reason I can see for that is it lets me announce that . . . I'm MIA.
I'll let you know when I'm back.
|
